17 comments on “Reflecting Back On A Season; Insights Into Sadness And Disappointment

  1. Pingback: 3pt Roundup March 10th « 3pt Academy

  2. There is so much to unpack in this article from Dena. It captures much of the stuff about her that has had the greatest impact on me both on and off the court. Dena wrote, “You begin to realize what matters and what doesn’t.” And I’m curious what coaches and athletes think matters the most. What is the stuff that keeps you coming back day after day and year after year?

    • What keeps me coming back is knowing there is so much more I can learn about this game and about myself. And not just as a player but as a person. Coach Dena hit it straight on, once I learned how to ignor petty problems my game and maturity evolved! I started going into games and life situations 20x more confident. I began to defeat my competition just by being mentally tougher! You know how in religion theysay the church is in the person not the building, well that’s basketball for me! I don’t have to be in the gym to be “in the gym” and I’m learning more about that everyday. All my life lessons I’ve learned from basketball, When I’m “in the gym” all my problems go away! Life is an oasis! So that’s why I come back day after day, year after year!

      • Hi Jasmine, I love how you articulated all of this. Thank you. The concept of “being in the gym” is indeed something way bigger than just being in a gym to average people if you can tap into it as such. I enjoyed readying your post, thanks again!

  3. Thaks for inviting me to weigh in. This is outstanding. Coaches are so important in helping with the process after a tough loss. Be a resilient figure so your players can learn resilience. It is not easy, especially when you as a coach are hurting as much as the players. I recently posted an article about this called, “The Last Postgame Speech” at http://coachczes.com/index.php/march-madness-2012

    • Hi Coach Czes, Thanks for jumping into our conversation. And thank you for you added insight to the experience from both the coach’s and player’s perspective. I’ll check out your article. Thanks!

  4. Dena’s idea of “grieving” over a season is fascinating. I know I am not over my season that ended in early February and won’t be for quite some time. Coach Czes’ point of being a resilient leader rings true for me and is something I’m working on.

    What motivates me are kids who want back in the gym every day. It keeps me focused on making sure I am doing everything I can to help them stay committed, develop a passion, and enjoy basketball as much as I do.

    • Hi Alyssa, thanks for chiming in. I can really related to being motivated and inspired by people. Anything in isolation is pales in comparison to things shared both on and off the court. I think it is a maturity thing too, I didn’t always feel this way but I have learned the value of it and enjoyed it too. Thank you again Alyssa!

  5. I always found it really hard when my seasons came to an end. How long should I ‘grieve’ about the season? How quickly should I move on to my off-season training?

    I found Dena’s article to be really insightful. I only wish I had it available to me as a player through my high school and college career.

    — Mano Watsa

    • Hi Mano, Great to have you on KTTG with all these great PGC Basketball minds! I too hope all the powerful stuff that Dick, Dena, and PGC Basketball can get to as many young players as possible. Thanks for chiming in! I’d love to hear what other have to say about moving on to off season once the season is completed. From a periodization perspective 6-8 weeks of non-training with consistent light recreational activity has been found to be crucial long term athletic development, but this idea rarely makes it out of the exercise science labs and off paper. I’d love to hear what kind of timing you all think is best, what’s worked or hasn’t worked.

  6. I usually like to give my kids at least a minimum of 4-6 weeks away from anything organized or required on the court, usually coordinated with spring break. But will start some strength and conditioning work pretty quick after the season.

    • Hi Alan, thanks for throwing the number out there. It’s nice to have some tangibles for people to compare with. I think strength and conditioning can be a great break from the long grind of the season, however, I do think coaches should be conscious about keeping it fun and fresh too. Doing the same conditioning over and over is a great way to burn out your athletes. Using games for conditioning on the other can really bring athletes to life and help them reconnect with the joy of playing that made love sports when they were little. I have used stuff like crab soccer and wheel barrow races to mix up conditioning and seen athletes really thrive. It should still be metabolically targeted (10s-90s bursts) but running 300 yard shuttles all summer is brutal. What kind of stuff do yall do Alan? Thanks again!

  7. I agree with Mano that I could have benefitted from these words as a player. I would have spent more time reflecting on the past season. As it was, the day my season ended I was in the gym playing with anyone who would play, old men at lunch ball, middle school girls, it didn’t matter. My perspective was always next. The dissatisfaction of any and all seasons drove me to be better the next. I have found that the hatred of losing more thanthe desire to win is what drives most great winners. So I would say, you are dissatisfied now? Good. Dwell on that Now and let it drive you. When you look back on the memories years down the road when your youth and opportunity to be a part of a special team are gone. You will cherish those memories as a valuable part of the journey. I believe most valuable reflection comes with distance, both time and space. Learn grow change.

  8. First of all great insight from Dena as always. I wish every coach and player in the world would have a chance to read it.

    Tyler I agree with you 100% that losing is a great motivator. As a coach I know the sting of losing last longer and goes to greater depths than the joy of winning. I have heard that from many other coaches and athletes as well.

    Jasmine I love your analogy of comparing life to being “in the gym”. It did not take me long to understand in my association with PGC that what was being taught was much more then being in the gym. The lessons that Dick, Dena and all the directors at PGC teach go way beyond the gym not only for the athletes but for all the staff, observing coaches, and even the people at the session sites who come in contact with the staff and athletes are affected by those lessons.

    Mano I absolutely agree that if I knew as a player what I know now being associated with PGC, well I don’t even want to think about it. That is why this website is so awesome in that it brings some of that information to so many. Keep up the great work Emily!!

    • Hi Coach Jimmy J! Thank you for your thoughtful contributions here. I know everyone will enjoy all that you have shared. I think another good item for conversation that you and Tyler touched on is the notion that losing hurts more than winning feels good. It’s definitely common, but, it reminds me of another quote Dena once shared from Abraham Lincoln that if we amplified our successes as we did our failures, we’d feel much better about ourselves. Its a tricky balance, a healthy and realistic sadness in loses (things that don’t go how we want in general) paired with cheerful and resilient spirit that doesn’t sweat the small stuff and knows what matters most is not winning and losing. Again, I love this conversation! Thanks for everyone’s chiming in! Hope to hear more!

  9. Thanks for that reminder Emily definitely something I will work on in the off season and do a better job of next season.

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